October is here.  Mother nature is busy painting the leaves brilliant colors.  The birds have flown south taking the hot air with them.  The sun has become stingier and stingier with its light.  Fog threatens the mornings.  And the eight-legged fiends have invaded every corner of my garden.

Every. Damn. Corner.  And my doorways.  The side mirrors of my car.  And a few completely psychotic ones have even invaded my home.  Those house invaders were met swiftly with my Swiffer.  Well, swiftly after gathering my courage and expelling many profanities. 

So how do I even leave my home during these dark times, one might ask? 

Well…I use my wand, of course!  And perhaps a bit of (dark) magic.

Stationed at every door is a “spider wand.”  A weapon used to protect, relocate, and (if necessary)…slay.

The spiders are ginormous this time of year.  Beefy, armored, and sinuous.  Webs are everywhere.  They have the power to turn even the most docile person into a crazed ninja.  With no remorse for mini heart attacks and thrown out backs.  None.

So I leave my house armed with my wand at all times now.  I wave the wand up down, left and right as I venture out.  Like a really dramatic Catholic.  I think my neighbors are used to this somewhat unusual behavior by now. 

For the most part, my magic is mostly exploratory and defensive in nature. But if I must, I wave the wand in circles to wrap the beasties in their own webs and toss them to the ground.  It is there that they meet the killing curse of the bottom of my garden Crocs.  It is perhaps a bit of controversial magic, but others might call it the circle of life. 

So to you, Aragog, AVADA KEDAVRA!